Once upon a time ago there was a magical place called “reddit“. It was a fabulous place, a place where smart people met and discussed the daily events. It was a source for news, a source for interesting analysis and a source for occasional fun. People posted stuff that mattered – breaking news, interesting or controversial articles – and the comments were on-topic and informative. You clicked on the comments tab, knowing that you found an intelligent discussion, more background information, further breaking news or in-depth reviews. Even the heated arguments were polite and interesting to read.
But, inevitably, such a good place attracted the interest of the evil creatures from dark corners of the Internet. Unable to comprehend posts or discussions, trolls started to sneak in doing reposts and downmodding everything they didn’t understand. Especially evil and vicious breed of foul creatures, called “slashdotters”, started to post comments “In Soviet Russia,…” and, as they were unable to find regular jobs, promote strange programming languages and smear all others.
As the size of reddit had grown, it attracted another breed of creatures, called “spambots”. These foul monsters were a cross-breed between a man and a machine; they had six legs and no head. Spambots sprayed their foul-smelling links all over reddit and downmodded all offspring except their own. Rulers of the magical redditland did not do much about them; indeed, there were rumors that the good governors had been infected by these creatures. Thankfully, a committee of knights in shining armor was able to sway the rulers back to the light side and slay most of the evil spambots, leaving only an occasional brood of spambots to sprout.
From their dark hiding places, yet another breed came. Spinning their evil web, paranoid conspiracy theorists had found another place to nest. Easily recognizable by their battle-cry “Wake up, sheeple!” and support to Ron Paul, they believed that all big media was under government control and they are the single source of enlightenment. Flood of stories about conspiracies and cover-ups started steadily to increase.
It was a time for the true lowlifes to arrive. Pictures of lolcatz and cute puppies, urban legends presented as true stories and goatse re-enactments were infecting the front page. “Vote up if…” was the most common start for all posts. Old-time redditors started to leave redditland, sadly looking back at the place that had once been a home for them, now being overrun by a horde of evil orcs.
And finally the bottom-feeding scum came, whose only contribution to any conversation is “First!!1!”. That was the end of reddit. The magical land was no more, only smoking ruins remained.
Good bye, reddit. It was fun while it lasted. Perhaps some day we’ll meet again, somewhere else.